Just upgraded to a Xbox Live Gold membership today. I’ve had nothing but a ridiculous amount of trouble.

The latest and seemingly impenetrable issue I’ve run into is:

Sorry, Xbox Live profiles can’t be downloaded right now. Try again later.

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So I wait 20 minutes to chat with Xbox Live support. This is the result:

Since we cannot resolve this, we’ve done everything to resolve this. So I would suggest to wait for a couple hours and try to download your profile again. On our what we can do right now I am making a report on this issue after that I will give a service request number so that when you contact back us again with same issue you can give the service request number to our support just in case you need further assistance regarding this issue.

Stellar customer support, I know (typos/grammar preserved from chat).

This is only the tip of the iceberg. Most of the errors that the Xbox provides provide a generic link to the Xbox support site. One particular error told me to “Visit  www.xbox.com/icmp-help for more help” and if you visit that link, you’ll see the laughably irritating:

We’ve moved some things around.

The page you are looking for may have a new location, or is no longer available. You might want to:

• Start again from the homepage.
• Check that you are using the website for your country or region.

Who knows.. maybe by posting my complaints here, some micro$oft employee will see it, be embarrassed, and provide a year of free (but buggy) Xbox Live service. I’ve heard taking things to the internet can help, but I have my doubts with this particular company.