Tag Archives: grace

Resentment Keeps Graduating

Faith, Life, Principles, , , , , , , ,

If you’re reading this, there’s a decent chance you already know resentment is bad for you. You’ve heard the metaphor about drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. You’ve nodded along when someone said “unforgiveness is a prison.” You get it.

And yet.

This post isn’t for the general population. This is for those of us who have a particular, persistent relationship with resentment. The kind where it’s not something you occasionally feel. It’s something you fight. Regularly. Like a recurring boss battle in a video game where the boss keeps coming back with new abilities.

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A figure running on a treadmill that curves into a large wheel, resembling a hamster wheel and suggesting endless motion without progress.

Approval Addiction: The Performance Treadmill

Life, Principles, , , , , ,

Hi, my name is Justin, and I’m an approval addict.
There, I said it.

If you’ve ever found yourself rehearsing a conversation in your head for hours, wondering what someone thought of you after a meeting, or feeling inexplicably deflated when your work went unnoticed, you might know exactly what I’m talking about.

Some people call it people-pleasing. Others call it conflict avoidance. Some frame it as a performance treadmill. The hamster wheel. Different names, same thing: a deep, sometimes desperate need for others to validate that you’re on the right track. That you belong. That you’re wanted.

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The Stick That Stuck

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What’s brown and sticky? A stick.

It’s a dumb joke, but it’s one of my faves. I am a dad after all.
It also happens to be the best metaphor I’ve found for something that has taken me years to name: the way our strengths and weaknesses are bound together, inseparable, like two ends of the same stick.

This post is a short introduction to the idea. My wife says I need to write a book, and she claims it will be a NYT best seller. She also married me, so her judgment is questionable. For now, a blog post will have to do. It’s a simple way to show how this little metaphor can help us live with more honesty, humility, and hope.

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